at 19 weeks pregnant i had an ultrasound. this is a standard procedure that is done to check the welfare of your unborn baby. it also let us know that we are having a baby girl. like that wasn’t exciting enough. at that appointment, my husband and i were advised that our baby girl was breach. but no worries since at the time we were still very early on in the pregnancy. now we’re going on 33 weeks and she hasn’t changed position yet. breach babies can be delivered with no problems, but with a pre-existing medical condition that i am dealing with, this is not an option for me. from what i understand, this doesn’t make for an easy delivery anyhow.

at my last midwife appointment i was told that i may need to decide how i want to approach the delivery situation. i do have a few options, but some of the obvious are not available to me. some are too dangerous for me. let me just say, this does not make for an easy decision making process. i get to choose between having the midwife turn our baby while in the womb or opting for a C-section. i don’t feel that i really have any good options here. i have never thought i would even consider a C-section, but given my medical condition, i’m really not sure.

i have to do whats best for my child. that is not something i can compromise on. some people have told me that a C-section isn’t so bad & that the recovery time is pretty slim. that’s great. but i’m not sold on the idea of, what i think, is the ‘easy way out’. if it’s not medically necessary for the health and well-being of my unborn baby (& myself), then i don’t think i can consciously make that decision without serious consideration.

there are so many what-if’s that have been running through my head. and so many questions that i can not have answered until i’ve made it to a certain point in the pregnancy. i’ve been doing a decent job at not worrying about it, but that doesn’t mean i haven’t thought about it.

in the things to consider i keep reverting back to the adjustment that our son is going to have just by having a new baby in the house. can i really be laid-up from a serious surgery when i need to take care of our new baby as well as our son?! how will he feel when his mama can’t get on the floor & build blocks with him because i’m in bed recovering from surgery?! and lastly, will my hospital stay be longer than a regular delivery? after considering all of these things, i still can not decide without more definitive answers what is best.

my first delivery did not goes as i had planned, which i’ve heard is not unusual. it was a normal delivery, but wasn’t at the birth center as i had wanted. for my first child, i don’t feel that 14 hrs from beginning to end was all that bad. he was born healthy and happy. that’s all i could ask for. with other issues at hand this time, it’s not looking like i can expect any type of perfect delivery. is there such a thing, anyhow? needless to say, turning the baby before delivery or a C-section does not sound like fun to me.

regardless, i’m hoping for the best this time around.

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