at this point in our lives, we have a 20 month old son and a daughter arriving soon. but lately my son has been a whirlwind of fun & terror. i love this little boy more than i could’ve imagined. although his recent change in attitude has me thrown. he can go from mama’s lovely little man to demon child within one “no” from myself or my husband.
i know this is all normal, but that doesn’t change the fact that i’m not used to it. maybe i was just hoping he’d be the stellar child that would bypass this phase of life and move right into little boyhood. once again, i’m wrong.

his recent change in behavior ranges from temper tantrums of throwing himself on the floor (no matter where we are), screaming at the top of his voice, telling me ‘no’ when he’s told to do something, etc. oh, i forgot to mention the throwing of anything he can reach, hitting, & spitting at others. it’s rather disheartening.

i like to think we’re raising a well-rounded child that has control of his emotions. yes, i know this is all learned behavior and he’s trying to figure out who he is. also, that he’s testing his limits in life of what he can and can’t do. i know this. but is there a parent that doesn’t think maybe i should’ve done something different; maybe i shouldn’t have let myself get upset to the point of losing my temper; or maybe i could’ve left the house remain uncleaned one more day and spent extra time playing with him or reading or just holding him.

i don’t think i’m a bad mom. that’s never crossed my mind. however, i do wonder how he’s going to behave when his baby sister does finally arrive. i know this is all a learning experience for him. i know all this. it doesn’t negate the idea that i, as the mom & adult, sometimes don’t know how to soothe him or make him feel better when he’s upset. especially the times when he’s upset and i don’t know why. he is 20 months old, learning so many things every day, but he is no professional at expressing words. he’s a baby. a baby with a temper.
maybe this is payback…as we’ve all heard our parents say “i hope you have a child just like you!” oh no!! if that’s the case, maybe we should’ve gotten a puppy instead of having kids! (totally joking!)

this weekend he was a joy. we took that little boy all over the place. today he and i both were trying to recover with some extra rest. he was in a great mood. we played, read, and napped. when my husband came home from work, he was okay. after dinner he started to get a little crabby. okay, he was in a bad mood. we actually put him to bed about an hour earlier than normal. this is okay, obviously he needed some more sleep.

anyhow, i have a boy who is possibly hitting the terrible two’s stage. there is no way to tell how long this will last and i can only cross my fingers that it’s a short process because this mama is at a loss.. i have to give extra hugs & kisses and try to be more compassionate since i can’t read his mind.

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