I’ve never been a person to regret any decision I made in the past. I feel that every decision, good or bad, has paved the road for where I am today. That each decision has led me in the right direction; to learn from my mistakes and to make better choices for my future. This isn’t going to turn into a religious post, but I will proudly say that if it weren’t for the love of my absolutely amazing parents and growing up in a christian home, who knows where I’d be today. It is because of their stance on parenting, not giving up on me, and the undying love they have for their family that I can proudly say..I’ve grown up!

In the past I surrounded myself with people who were a good time. Not that those people were in the wrong, yet our priorities in life grew in different directions. In time I realized this and chose to distance myself.
Today I spent some time speaking to a friend that I’ve had for years. After our conversation, I had to laugh.. we live such different lives, yet completely respect each other for that. She is someone who I am proud to say I’ve been a friend of for many, many years. I have a few of those. The ones that I can spend many months away from, yet pick up where we left off in any given second.

I guess it all boils down to this.. my overall personality hasn’t changed much throughout my life, yet my goals, priorities, interests, etc have. The lovely friends that I’ve made and kept through the years because we grew up, that’s the meaning of growing up! Different paths, different lives, and sometimes different interests, but unconditional respect and love.

I like that my conversations have moved from who is going out at night to a more in-depth whats going on in the world. Intelligent beings conversing over intellectual topics. Looking back, I feel that I was, in a sense, letting myself be held back from an intelligent grown-up life because the fun was overshadowing what was truly important. My life is too important to be held back by silliness. I have kids now! And I want the best life possible for them.

Which leads me to this point.. your opinions may not see mine, but here goes.
I am a woman; a wife and mother; a proud christian; a wanna-be world traveler; a mediocre writer; and a strong-willed person with a strong personality. But I have never cared about what others do in their lives. To each their own. Isn’t that the value of living our own lives? Who you love, what you believe, where you live..that is all up to you. If you’re not imposing harm to my family or myself, live your own life. You may not see eye to eye with me and my opinions, I respect that. This life of ours has so many beautiful aspects that are more important to me that those listed above.

As you know, I am awake many nights with Ingrid who doesn’t sleep well. In that time, I get to spend some time watching BBC America news. I get to see a perspective from the other side of the world, not typically mentioned on our local news. The turmoil taking place in other countries is heartbreaking. Meanwhile, we’re worried about who loves who?! I don’t understand. For this reason, among many others, I feel a strong pull to take my kids elsewhere. I want them raised to see that the world is a beautiful place, with important structure. Not that their only existence is in their backyard!

My life and mindset has changed. I have new goals. The choices I make today will impact not only myself, but my husband and kids as well. Our family is embarking on many changes in our near future and I am excited and scared. Whatever we choose to do will make a huge difference in our lives. There is nothing more intimidating than the unknown, which is what we’re throwing ourselves into. Let the fun begin!!

One thought on “growing older.

  1. So glad that we got to talk today! And you are a lovely grown-up. But always take a little time to be silly with those babies πŸ™‚ Miss you!

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