Thoughts of him riddled her mind as she stared into the sky.  A confession of love left her reeling.  Shortly after, he said goodbye without hesitation.  Such confusion flooded her eyes as tears streaked her face.  He said goodbye.

She knew better than to fall for someone like him.  He was energetic, he was fantastically amusing, he was home.  Something that she never dreamed of.  Someone she would never attract.  But she fell for him.  Every nerve in her body tingled when he entered a room.  Her heart raced as he stepped closer.  Her smile was endless when he caught her eyes.  Feelings she had never experienced before were overwhelmingly evident.  Her words caught her lips, as she was unable to say the three words he longed to hear.  He needed her love in return.  To ease the fright, he poked fun at their bond.  He wanted her to feel safe.  His desires outweighed her fears.

As months passed and words grew, she remained safely behind walls of security.  Her heart was near drowning in the unspoken admiration she felt for him.  She hadn’t allowed such sincerity to escape her mouth before.  And this.. their lust for one another was never meant to be; it was never meant to hurt.  Yet hurt is all that remained.  She bled.  Her body ached.  His heart cracked.  He could bear no more pain from the one he loved.  Her loved overflowed her being, yet the words were speechless.  Her lack of compassion towards the one who truly held her heart pushed him away.  How does one come back from this?  She was broken.  He was wounded.

They parted ways as humbly as lovers could.  Her last words to him were “if fate will have us, we will find one another again”.   She watched him walk away hoping he would reconsider his determination.  Dejected, she whispered softly “I’ll love you forever”, but she was too late.

She felt compelled to remain lonely, for if her love couldn’t be spoken to him, it never would.  For years, she allowed others to determine how she loved.  She lived in a falsehood of hope.  She thought she knew love, but couldn’t speak of it.  She released the one true love that would exist to her.  That evening, her fire dimmed.  She felt that his love had faded as he walked away, not noticing the strength it took him to take each step.  He felt pain; he bled; he silently cried.

This was their final chapter.  Their paths would never cross again, yet their love for one another would never diminish.

One thought on “If you only knew.

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